so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
