I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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