I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
