One girl and one boy is just not enough.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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