just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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