I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
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