I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Randomize
