we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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