only you would photoshop your dick
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
