He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
