The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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