Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
