Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
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