but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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