I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
