No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
