I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
should my penis look like a turkey
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
