I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
