THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Found the puke drawer
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Is Oprah even human
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
