when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
