i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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