I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
