alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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