i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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