Sry I called you an 8
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
