im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He has the fingertips of a God
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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