Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
