I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
