Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
