I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
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