i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
