Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
