your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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