And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize