Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
