she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
