I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
