i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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