I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
