There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
