One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
