You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
