Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
