If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
