It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize