I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
