I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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