Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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