I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
