If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
