K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
This is my gift to your gina
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Randomize
