so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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