I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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