You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
we made out on top of his cat.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
if only i could text you this smell
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
