Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Randomize
