does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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