I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
