Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Even my vagina gasped.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
