I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize