They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
