I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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