Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
