Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
