Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
