I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
