do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
